Conflicting Goals

I’ve just put the kids to sleep.  Wow.  What an afternoon.  The four year old spent quite a large percentage of time between 6pm and 7pm crying because she didn’t want rice for dinner.  After I begrudgingly whacked a can of beans on toast in front of her, she not only ate the beans but surprise, surprise ate the RICE!! FIGURE IT OUT PEOPLE!!!

I’m Laura and I am a mum, studying Coaching Psychology at Sydney University  (remotely) and currently living in Singapore (it’s been 3 months).

I hope to contribute to the life saving blog that Orange Peel is with a few bits of my experiences and some of the great concepts I’ve learnt at uni..god bless the psychology faculty!  Just stuff to chew on.

My first installment is about a simple concept called ‘conflicting goals’.  I realized the other day how this contributes to the quiet anxiety I feel on an ongoing basis.  Trying to meet two goals at the same time. See, even though I blame it on the kids (it’s a mother’s right to) the truth is I do hold responsibility for a significant share of the stress I create in my life. 

Like today, I decided to check my emails while the four year old (yes, that is her name ‘the-four-year-old’) was hanging off me asking if she could look at ABC Kids on the Internet.  After a few minutes of whining (and holding myself back from thumping her on the head with the laptop….I have a suppressed violent streak)  I turned the computer off. Simple. No more stress.  Conflicting goals eliminated.  I then opened up a space for the 4 year old to tell me what she wanted to do. Draw and cut out cupcakes was the response.  Not exactly my idea of a night out but hey, it’s what they pay me for (that’s right they don’t pay me…possibly my next installment).

So I call on you sisters (and brothers) to shine a torch on the tension in your life and consider the conflicting goals that arise in your day. Whether big or small they may be adding more pain than gain to your life. Be brave. Switch one goal off and open up the space for what really matters.  It may be your 4 year old.  Or it may simply be you.

Until next time,


  1. I hear ya sister!

    As a person who is also trying to juggle raising a well adjusted child with completing a Masters degree, I too can recount many thwarted attempts accomplish anything on the computer during the waking hours of my child.

    I write this in India, where I have now spent an eye-opening 10 days with my husband's family. What strikes me is the self sabotaging effect of individualism in the west. Here I have seen female relatives accomplish amazing things. What do they have that we don't? A supportive and present extended family unit! That's right: grand parents for example, who live with their children and grand children. They are respected and loved but also take responsibility for the care of their grandchildren whilst mummy completes her busy opthamology clinic whithout the pressues of racing off to the child care centre.

    It would be quite unfair to omit the fact that this structure is strongly supported by the feudalism and cheap labour available in India. Nevertheless, I prepare to return to Australia with slumped shoulders, knowing there will no longer be an army of aunties and aajis all too eager to pick up my child and kiss her when she falls, leaving me to complete a few competing goals...

  2. great post, Laura. so true! and... can i move to India please? :)

  3. Dear Anonymous,
    Yes I know what you mean. God bless those aunties and aajis and may you have many more trips back to India!!
    Thanks for your comment.